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160 interesting questions to ask a girl to get to know her

Maybe you’ve met someone online that you’re intrigued by. Maybe she’s one of the people in your chemistry class. Maybe you’ve been on a few dates and you want to get to know her better, but you’re not sure how. Whatever the situation, coming up with the right questions to ask a girl can be daunting – which is why we’ve compiled 160 good ones you can use in a variety of situations.

What are good questions to ask a girl?

The right kind of questions to ask a woman you like depend on your relationship to her as well as the circumstances. Remember that while your intentions might be excellent, coming on too strong can be off-putting or even feel like a threat, so it’s important to tread carefully – and even more important to listen and back off if she’s not interested. Pay attention to things like deflections, soft nos, and body language – there are a million little tells that aren’t as obvious, but are just as sincere.

If she is interested, open-ended questions are great because they let her talk at length if she wants to. Be sure to ask follow-up questions too – they’ll let her know you’re listening.

Open ended questions to get to know a girl

  1. What’s something you think everyone should try at least once?
  2. If you could master any skill instantly, what would it be?
  3. How do you like to spend a day when you have nothing planned?
  4. What’s the most valuable thing someone has taught you?
  5. What small change would make the biggest difference in your life?
  6. If you could live in any fictional world, where would it be?
  7. What is something people often misunderstand about you?
  8. Who or what inspires you to be a better person?
  9. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t gotten around to yet?
  10. If you had a theme song that played every time you walked into a room, what would it be?

Flirty questions to ask a girl

While the direct approach might work in some circumstances, it’s usually better to keep your flirting subtle and not focused on your date’s physical attractiveness. Some good questions to ask a woman you’re flirting with:

  1. What do you think is the most attractive quality in a person?
  2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  3. What is your idea of a perfect date?
  4. Do you believe in soulmates?
  5. Do you prefer to make the first move?
  6. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
  7. Do you have any hidden talents?
  8. What is your favorite way to relax?
  9. What’s the cheesiest pick-up line you’ve ever heard? Did it work?
  10. Do you have a go-to karaoke song?

Deep questions to ask a girl

Impress her by showing her you don’t just appreciate her looks but her capacity for thinking and introspection as well. Asking a woman a deep question on a first date can work beautifully to let her know that you’re not just a pretty face yourself and you don’t think that’s all she is either. Here are a few examples of thought-provoking questions you both might enjoy discussing:

  1. If you could change something about yourself, would you? What would you change?
  2. How would you define true happiness?
  3. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  4. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  5. If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
  6. What does spirituality mean to you?
  7. Is there a particular book, movie, or work of art that deeply impacted you? Why?
  8. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned this year?
  9. What are your thoughts on forgiveness and second chances?
  10. If you could change one decision you made when you were younger, what would it be and why? 

Serious questions to ask a girl

  1. What do you think the purpose of life is?
  2. Do you think it’s better to be respected or liked?
  3. How do you define success for yourself?
  4. Have you ever made a difficult decision that changed your life?
  5. How do you feel about taking risks in life?
  6.  Do you think people are inherently good or bad?
  7. What’s something you think society should focus on more?
  8.  If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
  9. How important is forgiveness in your life?
  10. What role does money play in your happiness?

Personal questions to ask a girl

While these questions don’t require as much introspection as the ones in the previous section, they’re best kept for a third or fourth date or even later, since they require her to show some vulnerability, especially the ones asking about her family or childhood. However, they can be a wonderful way to build trust between you two, especially if you’re willing to open up as well.

  1. What brings you the most joy in life?
  2. What is your philosophy on love and relationships?
  3. What is the most frightening thing you’ve ever done?
  4. What is your relationship with your family like?
  5. What is a favorite childhood memory?
  6. What do you do when you’re sad or upset?
  7. What’s something you’re unwilling to compromise on?
  8. How do you handle disagreements or conflicts in relationships?
  9. What’s something you’re proud of right now?
  10. What’s something you consider a guilty pleasure?

Questions to ask a girl about her family and childhood

  1. Who was your role model growing up?
  2. What’s something unique about your family?
  3. Do you have any family traditions you’d like to pass on?
  4. What’s a funny story your family likes to tell about you?
  5. How would you describe your relationship with your siblings, if you have any?
  6. What’s the best piece of advice your parents ever gave you?
  7. What’s a family vacation you remember fondly?
  8. Did you have any childhood pets, and what were they like?
  9. What were some of your favorite activities as a kid?
  10. How has your family shaped who you are today?

Questions to ask a girl about her life and values

  1. What’s one experience that changed the course of your life?
  2. If you could relive any moment, what would it be and why?
  3. What are some of your personal values, and where did they come from?
  4. What’s one lesson you wish you didn’t have to learn the hard way?
  5. How do you handle life’s major challenges?
  6. What are some things you want to accomplish in your life?
  7. Who are the people who have influenced you the most in life?
  8. What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you?
  9. How do you approach making big decisions?
  10. What’s something you’re grateful for in your life right now?
  11. What are some things you’ve always wanted to accomplish?
  12. Is there something you want to achieve this year that would make you really proud?
  13. What’s the biggest dream you’ve had since childhood?
  14. If you could make a difference in the world, what would you focus on?
  15. Do you have a “dream project” you’d love to work on someday?
  16. What’s one principle you try to live your life by?
  17. How do you define integrity, and why is it important to you?
  18. Are there any values you feel strongly about?
  19. Do you believe people can change, or do you think they mostly stay the same?
  20. What do you think is the most important quality a person can have?

Questions to ask a girl about her hobbies and interests

  1. What’s one hobby you’d love to spend more time on if you could?
  2. If you could instantly become an expert at any one of your interests, which one would you pick?
  3. Are there any hobbies you’ve always been curious about but haven’t tried yet?
  4. What’s the most rewarding part of your favorite hobby?
  5. Do you have any creative outlets that help you unwind?
  6. If you could take a weekend workshop to learn anything, what would it be?
  7. What’s something you do purely for fun that most people wouldn’t guess about you?
  8. Are there any new trends or interests you’ve picked up recently?
  9. Do you prefer solo hobbies, or do you enjoy activities you can do with others?
  10. If you could turn any of your hobbies into a career, would you? Which one?

Questions to ask a woman you like

Those initial getting-to-know-you conversations can be a little nerve-wracking, especially when it comes to thinking of the best questions to ask a woman you like. You want to set yourself apart, but at the same time, you don’t want to come across as too pushy or too forward. Keeping it light and non-sexual, while still personal, is a great balance to strike.

  1. What are you most passionate about right now?
  2. What are three things that make you smile?
  3. What song makes you cry?
  4. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever bought?
  5. Which celebrity would you switch lives with?
  6. What’s a book you read and really loved?
  7. What’s your favorite thing about your best friend?
  8. If you could attend a concert by any artist, who would you pick and why?
  9. Have you traveled much? What’s your favorite place that you’ve been to?
  10. If money was not an issue, what job would you like to have?

Questions to ask a woman over text

Texting is possibly one of the best things to happen within dating in recent years, and we’re not talking about the ability to send each other pictures. Texting lets you take your time to both compose and answer messages, meaning you can say exactly what you want to. Plus it works great for both silly conversations and serious ones. These are questions to ask a girl over text:

  1. What’s the last song you listened to that got stuck in your head?
  2. What’s something exciting or interesting that happened to you recently?
  3. What’s something on the internet (an article, a video) you enjoyed recently?
  4. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t had the chance to yet?
  5. What’s the most useless piece of advice you’ve ever received?
  6. What do you wish you had more time for?
  7. Do you have a favorite spot or place where you go to relax and unwind?
  8. If you had to choose one song to describe your life right now, what would it be?
  9. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
  10. Do you enjoy cooking? If so, what’s your signature dish? 

How to text a girl in general

Learn the best flirty texts for her, how to ask her out over text, and the secrets to keeping her interested and excited.

Questions to ask a girl to make her laugh

Science has shown that women like men who make them laugh1. Jokes are one way to do this, but you could also try asking her one of the questions on this list. As a bonus, you might just find yourself learning a fun new joke or five.

  1. Is cereal soup? Why or why not?
  2. What’s the best WiFi name you’ve seen?
  3. What’s your favorite Dad joke?
  4. What’s the silliest/funniest thing you believed was true as a child?
  5. Would you rather have unlimited sushi for life or unlimited tacos for life?
  6. What’s the weirdest conversation you’ve overheard?
  7. What do you think the best prank of all time is?
  8. What’s the most ridiculous fashion trend you’ve ever tried or seen?
  9. Do you have any favorite funny memes or GIFs you could share?
  10. If you were a food, which food would best describe your personality?

Funny and weird questions to ask a girl

  1. If aliens landed on Earth tomorrow and offered to take you with them, would you go?
  2. If you could have any creature, real or imaginary, as a pet, what would you choose?
  3. What’s something weird you love that most people don’t?
  4. If you were a ghost, how would you haunt people?
  5. What would you do if you found out you were a robot?
  6. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or plants?
  7. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever done for fun?
  8. If you were a character in a horror movie, what would be your survival strategy?
  9. Do you think you’d survive a zombie apocalypse? Why or why not?
  10. If you had to switch lives with any animal for a week, which animal would you pick?

Random questions to ask a girl

  1. If you could be an animal for a day, which one would you be?
  2. What’s the most unusual food you’ve ever tried?
  3. What’s something you never thought you’d do, but ended up loving?
  4. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  5. What’s one app you can’t live without?
  6. What’s the strangest compliment you’ve ever received?
  7. If you were invisible for a day, what’s the first thing you would do?
  8. Would you rather always be ten minutes late or twenty minutes early?
  9. If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate?
  10. What’s one superpower you would never want to have?

Questions to ask a girl about love and relationship

  1. How do you show affection to someone you love?
  2. What’s something you think people often misunderstand about relationships?
  3. Do you believe relationships should be easy, or do they require hard work?
  4. What’s the most romantic gesture someone has done for you?
  5. How do you think love changes as we get older?
  6. What’s the best advice you’ve received about relationships?
  7. How do you feel about surprises in a relationship?
  8. What’s one quality you value the most in a partner?
  9. Do you think it’s important for couples to have shared interests?
  10. How would you describe your ideal relationship dynamic?

Relationship questions to ask your girlfriend

One of the most important parts of a relationship? Communication. Another very important aspect? Expectations. The most compatible personalities in the world would go down in flames relationship-wise if one wanted permanence and the other was looking for a fling. This is why it’s important to be honest with each other early on about what you want out of your relationship and where you see it going. Some questions to ask your girlfriend that make those conversations easier:

  1. Where do you see this relationship in a year’s time?
  2. What are some things that you consider essential in a partner?
  3. Do you want kids? How many?
  4. What were some things you learned from previous relationships?
  5. Do you have any relationship deal-breakers?
  6. If I had to move for work, would you move with me? Would you expect me to move with you?
  7. How important do you think being on the same page politically is in a relationship?
  8. What’s your idea of the perfect date?
  9. Do you think exes can be friends?
  10. What do you think the most important part of a successful relationship is?

Explore further questions to ask to get to know someone

Getting to know each other is an integral part of the dating process, but it can be very hard to know what kind of questions to ask. Next to the already explained questions, we’ve covered a range of topics, each with plenty of example questions to ask to get to know someone. 

Get to know her better by asking the right questions

When chosen carefully and with attention to the circumstances in which you ask them, questions to ask a girl can become invaluable tools when it comes to taking your relationship to the next level. Not only does asking questions show your partner you’re interested, asking one at the right time can be a way of building trust and deepening your connection with each other.

Want the kind of relationship where this kind of thing is commonplace? Then sign up for eharmony and find people who want the same kind of lasting love you do.

Q&A – Expert backed answers to your questions

Ask a Question

Do you have a burning question, personal story, or problem related to this topic? Send it in! Our relationship experts and editorial team may select it and respond with their advice. All submissions are anonymous.

Thanks for sending in your question! Due to the volume of submissions, we’re unfortunately unable to reply to every single one. If your question gets answered, you’ll find it displayed below. — The eharmony team

What are the best questions to ask a girl without it feeling like an interview?

Whenever I meet someone new—whether on a date or just getting to know a woman I’m interested in—I struggle with keeping the conversation flowing. I don’t want it to feel like I’m reading from a script, but at the same time, I want to ask meaningful questions that actually help me connect with her.

What are some good questions to ask a girl that go beyond the usual small talk? I want to strike the right balance between fun, flirty, and deep without coming off as too intense or rehearsed.
Any tips on how to make these conversations feel more natural?

Laurel House
eharmony Relationship Expert

I love that you want to ask meaningful questions and dig deeper than small talk. Real conversation is truly the way to open anyone’s heart. Conversation is how you make connection. It’s a good idea to have questions in mind when going into the conversation. Because the way to initiate an environment to have these deep and flowing conversations is to be the example of your expectation. By using the U-Strategy and the Conversation Equation, you can take the conversation to deeper levels without getting lost in the depths.

The U-Strategy is modeling the conversation after the letter U.

  1. You start at the top of the U with something light, for example: “I love to play basketball on the weekends, it’s great exercise and I get to see my friends.”
  2. THEN you start going down the U: “I started playing basketball when I was a kid and we didn’t have much money, but there was a basketball hoop at the end of my street. To keep ourselves busy, my friends and I would play ball. My dad and I really bonded over basketball too. That’s how he and I would have harder conversations- keeping our mouths moving while keeping our hands busy dribbling the ball. “
  3. THEN you go back up the U: “I find it easier to really connect with people while moving my body. Which is why I like hiking too. What about you? What do you like to do on the weekend?”

That way the conversation doesn’t sound forced, you are able to start talking about something that seems light- like what you like to do on the weekend, you gradually get into a deeper topic, and simultaneously you create several conversation strings that can be pulled to continue the conversation. You are also engaging the other person by asking them to share a similar style story. While doing all of that, the U-Strategy opened your heart by talking about something that taps into vulnerability. Now when she shares back, she will be tapping into her vulnerability too.

The Conversation Equation is similar, but this comes into play when the other person is sharing first. To help you to actively listen, show them that you are interested in what they say, and also contribute to the conversation, Listen, Comment, Share, Ask:
Listen to what they say. Comment on what they said. Share something similar about yourself. Then, so that they don’t feel like you are redirecting the conversation onto yourself, put it back onto them by Asking a Question about what they shared that also relates to what you shared.

A few questions to ask on a first date and on a date in general, to have in your pocket are:

  • What do you like to do on the weekend?
  • Are you more of an introvert or extrovert, and how does it show up in your life?
  • When it comes to travel, do you prefer to vacation where you relax, or take a trip where you explore?
  • What are you looking for in dating that might be different from what you were looking for in the past?
  • What is it that excites you, or initially excited you about your career, and what inspired you get into it?
  • What do you feel is missing in your life, and what caused that?
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